im so pissed at this dude at school he is so annoying...the subject purdy much says it. i would say i want to shoot him but that ruins all the fun. plus if i use the chair there wont be as much as a mess as to shooting his brains out. hee im so loving. the dudes a assfreak though. he deserves the worse. plus hes a perverted assfreak. im a very evil person and im not nice when i hate you. plus i love being evil its more fun and easier to do then when your nice and sweet and all that bullshit. i love being evil...its so fun and enjoyable. if you think  im crazy good for you and a psychologist or whatever there called wont help they will just make it worse. neways if the dude does what he did to me today i dont care if i get expeled at least ill know i kicked his ass with a chair. hahaha. being EVIL ROXS!!!

i wanna throw a chair at your head and maybe if im lucky i hope your skull cracks and you go into a coma and wake up so i can do it agian.

school is stupid and no one likes it i know this...a girl comes to school everyday and the firdt thing out her mouth i hate school i dont wanna be here i cant wait till friday then its the weekend i hate sunday cause then i know i go back to school. who wants to be at school. i hate it to but i dont complain as much as you do. damn you bitchy whore...shut the hell up. now that i got that out let me say this...WHEN I SAY I DONT LIKE HIM I MEAN I DONT LIKE HIM!!!!!GOT IT BITCH. theres this dude in my class that wouldnt leave me alone if if oyu put a gun to his head and said stop or ill shoot he still wouldnt stop. the girl asked me if i liked him i said no and went on with my business. so when the bell rang she told her bitchy whore slutty friend that i liked him and shes all AWWW if i was standing i wouldnt kicked her and her friend and just beat the shit out em. when i say no i mean no. damn bitchy ska nks.  plus the dude they like messes with me in which the get all mad and im like its not my fault your a slutty whore...that wheres skirts that end at your ass and look like a damn prostitute. dumbasses. they blame me cause they dude they like messes around with me. i didnt ask him to do it and i dont want him to do it. *sighs* i feel better i got it out of my system and feel better.

ummm....im gonna leave tblog for awhile. sorry to all my tblog friends but i also want to thank all my tblog friends.Dilerious i really want to thank you. your a great friend. hope all gos well with you.

bye to all of you. have a nice day/night. love to all.

......*daydreams of Tre' Cool playing his drums for a Green Day concert*.....

Tre' Cool is my obsession. Hes so HOTTT!!!!!

I<3Tre'Cool   ;     I<3Tre'Cool

who do you think is hotter off of the hottest band Green Day? Tre' Cool. Mike Dirnt or Billie Joe Armstrong.

for me it would be Tre' Cool. hes hot and has all the different facial expression. he muscles. plays the drums. he acts like a idiot and is very funny. he writes sons that make him sound so horny but there funny as hell. he came up with the best name for a sex position. hes flexible. he has the best quotes. i have two favorites that make me laugh so hard i cry. im obssessed with Tre' Cool. ohmygoodness. theres more but i think i already made my point at why i think hes the hottest. 

I<3Tre'Cool   ;    I<3Tre'Cool   ; 

I LOVE PENGUINS

I LOVE TRE' COOL

I LOVE TWO OTHER PEOPLE

<3<3<3<3<3 <3<3<3<3<3 <3<3

i hate guys that are jerks. i can stand some of them but not all. they need to go to hell.

*yauns*starts watching kill bill*

im better than i was yesterday. i hope it doesn happen agian. i feel back to normal but im still sad maybe a little happy. i hope two get some cds on the way home. i know that will make me so happy.

random comments. in which just pop into my head.

i see evil purple bunnies jumping on your head.

crayons are like skittles there colorful and they make rainbows. then theyre not because crayons taste nasty *sticks out tongue*

there are little green fro haired trolls in pink spandex chasing me around and throwing gum balls at me. *runs and runs* plays music and starts to dance*trolls follow my dance moves and then get crazy and do there little troll dances*

have a nice day/night everyone

last night my dad got a phone call from his work that there was a problem and he didnt get that message until later. my dad was really pissed. he like destroyed the house and i was in my room and i stayed there sad and scared. i didnt cry because i was to sad and scared to cry. my mom was crying cause she wished that i didnt hear any of it. my dad cussed at least five times in each sentence and kept saying fuck about three times before he started another sentence. when he left for work he pushed down on the gas pedal as ahrd as he could and left three skid marks on the highway in front of the house. the jeep is stick shift so each time he went into another gear it left skid marks. i was so scared by all this i could feel myself shaking and wanting to cry but was to scared and sad to. i couldnt go back to sleep and i didnt. this was like at 2 o clock in the morning and he came back home around 4 and stayed up and my mom also stayed up after my dad left to go to his job. my dad came back still mad and only slamming doors but when he went to talk to my mom he kept his voice low and soft.i hope this never happens agian. it scares me to much. i get scared so easily. i also love my dad alot and i dont like to see him act like that. its 11 hours later and everytime i it comes back to my mind i feel myself starting to shake. i hope my dad is better when we go back home the day after tomorrow. that will ive him alot of time to cool off hopefully.

ive been so depressed lately that i cant sleep and i cry and i am just not happy at all. im only happy when im around my friends. i havent been around them in awhile but i want to try and be happy. im gonna fake my happiness and try not to go back to the dark person i still am inside. i dont want to show that anymore.  i want to be so happy im gonna bring who i once was back. so my next post will be full of happiness. ^_^ ^_^ ^_^

well my birthday was just shitty. it was only my family there. i couldnt invite any of my friends.

we went to this restaraunt and my cousin really pissed me off but watever. im not gonna take advice from her she has alot of issues and has made alot of bad choices and i just dont think im gonna take advice from her.

there was this like 30 yr old guy hitting on me. he scared me to death. he stared at me and then i started to walk and he followed me and he got closer and then i ran to my uncle and the dude walked passed me and then later on i saw the same dude agian and he was like winking at me and poking out his lips at me. i got really scared. i dont like being hit on by guys that do that kind of stuff.

neways yesterday on the way home from church my parents got in this big argument. i hate when my paretns argu with each other. my dad will slam doors and yell and cuss and knock stuff over. it makes me sad when im right behind them and there yelling as loud as they can and just going back and forth. i wanted to ask my dad a question but i was to scared. i dont like when guys yell in front of me or at me. i get scared and sad very quickly. when i was younger it didnt bother me cause id kick ass. they would yell at me and i woulds slap them in the face or kick down below or shove my foot up there ass. now i cant do that im to scared. if they started touching me thats a different story but yelling yeah.

also yesterday my mom fixed dinner and i wasnt hungry. i was in my room trying to sleep (i didnt sleep the night before because i was crying) and she yelled dinners ready and i yelled i wasnt hungry. then she yelled oyu need to eat. i didnt answer. then she yelled my full name and i ignored her. then she yelled something once agian and i didnt pay attention cause i was half asleep. then she comes in my room and starts yelling at me. i lay my head back down and then 5 minutes later i get up and go into the livingroom. i dont eat because im not hungry. she says go fix you somehting to eat. i say im not hungry. she yells something as if im deaf. i lay up to yell and my dad burps loud and i judst look at my dad and lay my head back down. then my dad went outside and my mom said go eat. i yelled im not hungry. (if i eat when im not hungry i get sick and stuff and its horrible) i didnt eat at all that day.

also yesterday i have this thing that i dont liked to e poked on the neck and my mom does it cause she thinks its funny. when she does it i slap her out of reflex. then she slaps me back. i tell her not to touch my neck and she laughs at me. if i didnt have self control i wold have punched her in the face and hard. i went to my room and punched my wall. paint fell off and hit the carpet and i left a white spot on my wall. i didnt hit it as ahrd as i wanted to becuase i was afraid id punch a hole in it. the part of my door thats in my room is halfway there. i punched that door and punched holes in it and one time i hit it so hard the screws camre out of the hinges and the door fell and mad a big kaboom and my dad had to come and fix it.  i have a very low anger tolerance with my mom. its very high when im with other people that dont piss me off alot.

last night we got 6 more hens and rooster so i think we have 17 hens and roosters in all. there all in together with the turkey. i dont think the turkey is very happy but oh well. my hens are nice theyll run up to you and you can pick them up and pet them. i have so many pets though. who cares though.

going to bed and i hope i actually sleep

today is my birthday and i hope its a good one. i dont think it will be but whatever. alot of my family is gonna be there and NONE of my best friends are. i hope i can do soemthing with them soon. im supossed to be happy but im not. oh well it life and life is full of shit. anyways. i hope it will be a good one and get money and nothing else but that. i need money more than anything else unless it has to do with being black or red or is a penguin or green day. ill accept anything like that but nothing else.

1: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says: No matter how hard she tried to be one of ...


2: Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first? wall


3: What is the last thing you watched on TV? Live 8

4: WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what the time is: 5:45


5: Now look at the clock; what is the actual time? 5:43

6: With the exception of the computer, what can you hear? ceiling fan


7: When did you last step outside? What were you doing? i dont get the question.


8: Before you came to this website, what did you look at? another website


9: What are you wearing? clothes

10: Did you dream last night? i dont know

i havent really blogged in a few days because ive been thinking about stuff in my life and the way i act and other stuff. ive been thinking alot and i think the thing that got to me most was

im the person my mom told me to stay away from. i also think that i cant be who i really am cause of her and all the bullshit she will start yelling at me about it. i want to do this and she says what are you thinking and ill tell her how i feel about it and stuff and she gets all pissed off and yells. i try to make her stop yelling but she just gets louder. just to say but i can hear really well and just because you yell whatever at me it isnt gonna make me understand it more. 

another thing was why cant you just like my best friend. everytime i say one word about her she laughs and says why in the world did she do that and start saying this stuff about her. in which it pisses me off and i yell at her and then realize im yelling and stop and calm my voice down and start back in the conversation. i hate how she just doesnt understand someone especially my best friend and just basically makes fun of there choices. she doesnt realize that if i could id do some of the same things. my mom doesnt want me over at her house because she lives with her grandparents and soem of the stuff she does. im like she wouldnt make me do anything and what dos her living with her grandparents have to do with it. i live with my grandparents during the week and sometimes on the weekends. i just really hate when she does that to my best friend when she doesnt know her and when she doesnt even know me.

which brings me to this

my mom thinks she knows alot about me when she doesnt. i tell my best friend everything i can because she will give me a helpful and caring answer. my mom will not help and make it alot worse. me and my best friend have alot in common and we understand each other. my mom would know more if she wouldnt yell at me and we wouldnt get into alot of fights. ive purdy much gotton to the point where if she yells at me i get suicidal and want to punch her in the face. if my mom knew the real me she would probably throw me out of the house. im dead serious to. which it wouoldnt bother me because im looking into running away really soon if not soon i will one day.

my mom slaps me on the leg when she thinks i do something funny and i hate when she does that because its never funny and i just hate it. she also touches my neck and i really hate that and i slap her because its a reflex and she slaps me becuase i slapped her. why the fuck is she gonna touch my neck when she knows im gonna slap her. im like what the fuck. i almost punched her one day becuase she was holding the back of my neck and was laughing. i was slapping her wrist telling her to let go and she said stop slapping me and was still laughing. i yelled let go and kick her behind her knee so i wouldnt hurt her and she still held on to the back of my neck so i bit her and she let go. i was ready when she let go to punch her but i contained myslef and walked off and layed with my dad. when im with my dad im happier and i get heppy when im mad. my dads not one of them mooshy guys my dads a bad ass and is nice when he wants to be.

well i do have more to say but i got what i really needed to let out out so ive calmed down a bit.

nkay well i changed alot on my blog. my happiness went away (like i said it would) and so my blog just got darker. plus i like how its not colorful. i changed the font i have stickers i have stuff. i changed the blog and i like it. honestly if you wanna leave a comment and say you hate it. i dont give a crap. its your opinion. i will respect that you have a opinion and that you have guts to say it and givve you credit. i really dont give a crap what you say about it. let me know.

HAPPINESS i dont have any at the moment and it suxs. grrr. i hate my life so much at times.